|
May 2009
To download a pdf copy of the magazine click here: DOWNLOAD
Red Paint, Purple Balloons and Green Grass
by Sean O'Toole
This morning when I drove into the parking lot of the small-town-Ontario
high school where I teach, I was greeted by new graffiti. Emblazoned
on one portable in striking red paint was the word “Bitch.” On
another was a semi-literate statement urging people not to
mess with the local Catholic school: “Dont fuck wit St Doms.” The
graffiti brought to mind the garbage strewn on the floor in
the computer hall, the newly broken window by the greenhouse
doors, and how the word “gay” was
scribbled across a plaqued letter from John Irving that hangs
on the wall in the English hallway. I thought of how the other
day, a wayward backpack smashed into me as I chatted with a
student in the hall. Backpack Boy ambled on, no apology, just a silent,
over-the-shoulder scowl.
Kids today—no respect for property, teachers,
each other, themselves. The place is going to hell. It’s a whole
new world and things have changed. Or have they?
Recently, while
gathered around the breakfast table with a group of old high
school friends, the talk shifted from our high school glory
days in the early 80s to high school today. Things were better back
then, they decried—black
and white, simple, kids knew their place, knew right from wrong.
But today? How can you teach those gun-toting thugs? they asked.
Get
rid of the hats, the baggy pants, iPods, cell phones. Bring
on uniforms, metal detectors, video cameras, they implored,
bring back the strap, the yardstick, the tough-as-nails vice-principal.
What happened to kids shutting up, doing their homework, doing what
they’re
damn well told? Gone to hell, all of it.
I didn’t say much. But
I’m on the front lines, so they put
it to me.
I thought for a moment. I said I wasn’t so sure things
had changed much since we were in high school. Toss a thousand
teenagers into one building for seven hours a day, 190 days a year,
and things happen. Stuff gets wrecked, people fight. But wonderful things
happen, too. People grow, bond, create, discover, understand, take chances.
Maybe the nasty stuff—disrespect, vandalism, violence—is
the cost of doing business. And while it’s dispiriting and horrifying
and tests your faith, it isn’t new. Indeed, the same things happened
when we were in high school. But we were in the middle of it,
so we didn’t really notice. Twenty-five years down the road, the
details fade and, through rose-tinted glasses, we remember
the big game, the good times, the laughs. Somehow, we don’t remember
the bad stuff that was right under our noses. Until we take another
step back. And remember things as they really were.
When I was
in high school I stood in the foyer before the first-period
bell and watched a guy named Scott kick a boy almost to death.
Nobody jumped in to help—no teachers, no students. The fight ended
when Scott stopped kicking the guy in the face and walked away.
That summer, Scott picked up where he left off and stabbed
a guy to death at a bush party.
And there was more. If you were
a misfit in Grade 9 gym class, your clothes were tossed in
the shower while your friends from Grade 8 pretended they didn’t
know you. If your parents were Pakistani, you were ostracized
and abused, the odd one out when the science class partnered up for
labs, the last pick in gym class. Bullies bullied, drug dealers plied
their trade in the smoking area, and the back wall was a canvas for
spray-paint graffiti artists.
So I’m not sure high school has changed
as much as our perspective has changed. I see it the Friday
of every Thanksgiving weekend when first-year college and university
students visit and complain that since they left, the school’s
gone downhill. The kids are punks, the place is a mess, there’s
no respect. They claim the Grade 9 kids clogging up the halls are different,
cocky, don’t
know their place. Things have changed, they moan. But they
don’t
notice the boy who graciously held the door for them or the
girl curled up with a book in a comfy chair in the library. They don’t
see the bright purple birthday balloons taped to a locker and they don’t
hear the sweet sounds of the group of kids gathered on the
front lawn, lush and green, playing guitar, singing Ben Harper
and Jack Johnson. Little moments of beauty and grace.
The high school
experience consists of the good, the bad, and everything in
between. From the outside looking in, it’s all gone
to hell. But with a little faith, you push away from the breakfast
table, take one more step back, and see a bigger picture—a picture
that’s
colourful, not black and white. A picture that contains striking
red paint, bright purple balloons, and lush green grass.
Sean O’Toole is a high school teacher in Bracebridge, Ontario.
. |