The Power of Words

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Betty Healey

I am beginning to focus on what people say, to pause and really listen to the words that others use in their everyday language. I am noticing that the words we choose are not always intentional; they frequently fail to express what we really want to communicate. More importantly, our words are more than what they appear to be on the surface. As Charles Handy wrote in his book The Hungry Spirit, “our words are the dress of our thoughts.”

Have you ever listened to yourself speaking, not your tone of voice or volume, but listened to the actual words that you use? In a recent Authentically You™ retreat, Anita, one of the participants, described some of the changes she was currently implementing in her life. As she shared her experience with the others, we listened to her choice of vocabulary. What we heard emphasized the “I must do this, I need to do that, I should do this, I have to...”

When she paused, another participant said, “Anita, I hear what you are saying, but what I don’t hear is what you want? In your heart of hearts, what do you want?” Anita looked puzzled.

“This is not a trick question,” I said. “We are listening to you and hear you using the words must, have to, need to or should. I am curious, as the others are, is this what you really want?”

Anita, of course, is not alone. We all fall into the “must do, should do, have to” trap all the time and fail to use the “I want, I desire, I love” options. We preface action by using I hope to, I wish, I will try... instead of saying I am, I will, or any other action verb in the present tense. Without realizing it, we are diminishing our power. As a result, we delay action or fail to manifest what we want.

Words are very powerful and intimately linked to our emotional and spiritual self. Words reveal your fears, whether these are based on the fear of failure or success, fear of scarcity, fear of love or being loved, fear of abandonment or fear of being viewed as a fraud. Words detail your state of mind and how you feel about yourself, both your self-confidence and self-esteem. Your choice of words provides a framework for how you show up in the world, how you are perceived by others and the energy you attract.

Each of us has an opportunity every day to examine how we incorporate words into our language and thoughts. Begin to recognize that your words are aligned with intention, with your sense of personal power and with your desire to manifest the life you choose for yourself.

The next time you start speaking, also start listening. Start with being clear on what you want, and escape the external influence of the shoulds, musts and have to’s. Then begin to ask, beyond what I want, what do I desire from my heart of hearts, what do I choose for me and the life I want to live, and finally, what do I love? Release the “I hope to, I plan to, or I will try” and leverage these into “I will” and “I am.” The more we incorporate different choices into our language, the more we evolve spiritually and the more closely we become aligned with our purpose. Do your words energize you or deplete you? Choose carefully.

Before you push the send button, reread emails. Is your wording affirmative and intentional or is it responsive and reactive? If you were the recipient of this email, would you be energized or depleted?

Just as your car’s engine can be tuned up, so can your vocabulary. Just as you see the evidence of fine tuning in the smooth running of your car, so too will you experience this in the smooth running of your life. As you begin to harness the power of your words, and understand their role in manifesting an authentic life, the course of your life will become more focused. Begin to pay attention today to your language and use your language to give direction to your life.

Excerpt from roadSIGNS2: Travel Tips to Higher Ground by Betty Healey. For more information on Betty’s speaking topics, or to order a copy of roadSIGNS2, please call 1-800-287-8610 (toll-free) or email resources@creativebound.com