Fall 2007

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Supporting Students Against Bullying

by Debra Cockerton

Tough it out. Suck it up. Take it like a man.” For many years, this was how bullying was dealt with. Children were told to ignore the bullies, and many adults simply ignored the fact that bullying was happening and hoped it would just go away. However, we were wrong. Ignoring bullying doesn’t make it go away. We now know that bullying is a form of emotional and physical abuse which can have devastating, long-lasting effects not only on the victim, but also on witnesses. Onlookers may fear being targeted next, or may be pressured to join in the bullying. Teachers and students may feel anxiety over having to deal with the bully on a daily basis. The anxiety is worse for youth as they lack the coping skills of adults.

MAKING SCHOOL A SAFE PLACE
How can we create a safer environment for children and youth so that bullying does not happen or have a chance to flourish? First, it is important to recognize the elements of bullying. Not all are visible, but having an understanding of the different types of bullying helps us to see and hear what’s happening “under the radar.” In addition to the physical, emotional/social and verbal bullying that has been ongoing for years, bullies are now also techno savvy with what has been termed cyber-bullying. This involves text messaging on cellphones, emails, blogs on webpages and conversing in chat rooms. While this is seen as the new way to socially interact with peers, some of it is intentional and hurtful dialogue that is intended to harm. Many cyber-bullies hide their identities by using pseudonyms, feeling this prevents them being found out. Parents and teachers can be unaware of the bullying activity, but the fallout can be seen in the victims’ behaviour.

As well as different types of bullying, there are different levels of intensity. For example, physical bullying could range from intentionally tripping someone in the hall, to physically assaulting someone to demand money or belongings, causing serious injury or even death.

School staffs must work together to deal with bullying. Students will feel safer at school if they know that all staff members are taking the issue seriously and are there to support and protect them. Encourage your Parent Council or Safe School Action team to participate in bullying awareness workshops as well. Policies and procedures specific to bullying and harassment should be developed, so everyone understands the rules and the significance of the problem.

SPEAK UP!
Silence speaks volumes. As adults, we may inadvertently permit bullying by saying nothing. If we do not comment as kids put each other down, we are saying it is okay to do this in our presence. The perpetrators quickly pick up on which adults are more tolerant of inappropriate behaviour, either physically or verbally. If an adult ignores put-downs, the target feels that the adult isn’t on his/her side and therefore isn’t there to help. The target feels re-victimized by the adult and this can further diminish self-esteem.

Use the seven second rule: this is the amount of time you have to respond to a bullying situation in the moment. If you ignore it, even for the time being, you are giving the bully permission to do it again and the message you are relaying to the victim is that you are not protecting them from the bully’s actions. For younger students, simply saying to the perpetrator “we don’t talk to each other like that at our school” may be enough for them to know that certain behaviour is not allowed in your presence. Also saying to the target “if you receive any further put-downs from this person, please let me know,” lets both the target and perpetrator know that you are looking out for them. For older students, limits of acceptable behaviour must also be verbalized.

BUILD POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS
Debra Pepler, a leading Canadian researcher on bullying, says that bullying is a “relationship issue” and must be resolved in this capacity. Use your time in the classroom to build empathy, and have students see that in the same situation, people can experience different feelings. The “Second Step” violence prevention program (www.cfchildren.org) is a great program for elementary students, as it teaches empathy and problem-solving. For secondary students, teachers need to integrate empathetic learning into equity and diversity issues, healthy relationships and conflict management skill-building in the classroom.

Bullies act for a reason. Get to know the bully and encourage and reinforce behaviours that have positive results for them. Bullies need consequences, but they also need positive social skills training. Make the parents aware of the problem and work with them to alter the child’s behaviour. In some cases, professional counselling may be necessary.

Also, use the perpetrators’ leadership skills to your advantage. Have them read books about bullying to kindergarten students and have them answer tough questions such as “Why is the bully so mean?” or “How come the bully does things to make someone cry?”

When you see students doing something positive, include the bullies to have them connect positive behaviours with positive results. Verbally reward students for focussing on character-building comments and actions towards others. Be a role model for your students with your comments and behaviour.

Students need the tools to recognize bullying and know what to do about it in an environment supported by the adults. The Red Cross “Beyond the Hurt – Peer Facilitator Training” is a 2 day workshop that teaches youth about the issues of bullying and harassment and trains them to deliver a workshop to their peers. The teachers or counsellors participating in the training act as advisors for the program and have a link with the Red Cross RespectED Violence and Abuse Prevention team.

KEEP TRACK OF WHAT’S GOING ON
Make sure you document each incidence of bullying in a central recording system. When a teacher speaks to a student about bullying, it should be recorded where others have access to the records. That way, students aren’t given “chances” by more than one person. If you are the sixth adult to speak with a child about bullying behaviour, the consequences should be different than if it was the first time.

A good exercise is to administer a survey to get an accurate sense of what is going on in the school from the students’ perspective. Surveys are available for download through the Canadian Public Health Association web site at <http://acsp.cpha.ca/antibullying/english/backinfo/Assessment_Toolkit.pdf> with an Excel spreadsheet for importing information. Include a map of the school, both inside and out, as part of the survey and have the students mark an “X” wherever bullying occurs. Use this information to increase supervision in these areas. You may be surprised at the results, since most bullying happens below the radar of teachers and other adults.

AVOID RE-VICTIMIZING
When dealing with bullying, it’s important that you don’t re-victimize the targets by asking them to avoid certain areas or situations. Instead, put these restrictions on the bullies as a consequence for their behaviour. Also, always speak to the victim first and do not have the target in the same room as the bully to “talk it out” or mediate. The power imbalance between the bully and the target makes it impossible for the victim to feel comfortable in that situation.

INVOLVE PARENTS
Parents also need to be educated so they can work together with schools. Cyber-bullying, text messaging, facebook entries, etc., usually occur after school hours, but the impact is there the next day when students are in class. Also note that some students fear retaliation and may not report bullying at all. During a parent/teacher interview, ask if the child has ever mentioned being bullied at school. Some children will beg their parents not to contact the school because they do not believe anything will be done to resolve the situation or that their “telling” will make things worse.

It is important to work with fellow staff, administration and parents to create a safe environment where bullying is neither accepted nor tolerated. Students will feel safer knowing that schools are being proactive in the prevention of bullying and are taking immediate steps should bullying occur in their school.

Debra is a Coordinator for RespectED:Violence and Abuse Prevention program with the Canadian Red Cross in Ontario. Her educational background is in Behavioural Science and she has many years experience in the school sector as a counsellor, working with children and youth in the areas of social skills, anger management and bullying. She has presented both provincially and internationally on the topic of bullying. She can be reached at: debra.cockerton@redcross.ca or 705-745-8222 or go to for information about Beyond the Hurt – the workshop and training program for adults and youth on bullying and harassment.